fortitude & patience
by Rebecca Tourino Collinsworth
It’s just past 4 pm on a spring afternoon in the Arthur Ross Pinetum area of Central Park. From a play area a few hundred feet away, we can hear clanging metal equipment, children’s chatter, and the occasional spat.
A deserted picnic table, decked out with kid-themed birthday decorations, sits in the shade of several pine trees. The paper cloth covering the table is held in place by birthday hats, noisemakers, jugs of juice, and a pink cardboard box from a pricey bakery. Tied to the table, several helium balloons bob and weave in the breeze.
TOPHER, 33, arrives. He checks his watch. He investigates the picnic table, picks up a birthday hat, and puts it on. Tugging on the elastic under his chin, he wanders a distance from the picnic table and scans the clearing for people he knows.
From the play area, a child laughs wildly. GEMMA, 30, rushes in.
TOPHER: Hey, birthday girl.
Gemma takes Topher in.
GEMMA: Ah.
TOPHER: Yep.
Gemma tries to catch her breath. She immediately begins to sweat.
GEMMA: Where is everyone? I was sure I was late.
TOPHER: Me too. Train was so packed, I had to let the first go by.
GEMMA: Which line?
TOPHER: Red Bullet.
Gemma rolls her eyes.
GEMMA: Nobody calls it that.
TOPHER: I do.
GEMMA: You didn’t do all this … ?
She is indicating the party decorations. Topher shakes his head.
TOPHER: They might still be unloading.
He points to the picnic bench, raising his eyebrows.
TOPHER: Why don’t you sit down? You’re a little winded.
GEMMA: Think I’ll go find a rest room.
TOPHER: If you don’t mind paying for a drink, there’s a Starbucks on 79th. There’s public ones at Columbus Circle. Also the Zoo –
GEMMA: I wasn’t asking for directions.
TOPHER: Maybe you don’t have to pee, you just don’t want to wait here with me.
GEMMA: I really don’t.
Gemma begins to head off.
TOPHER: You’re not very good at waiting.
Gemma stops.
GEMMA: I waited three years. Who invited you?
TOPHER: Molly. Yeah, I was surprised too. I thought you had custody of the work friends.
Gemma sits at the table. From the play area, a child wails.
Topher comes closer, fiddling with the party goodies.
TOPHER: Got any big plans for this weekend? Some celebrating?
GEMMA: You want to know if I’m seeing someone, why don’t you ask me?
TOPHER: Making conversation.
GEMMA: Well, I am.
TOPHER: Good for you!
He blows a noisemaker.
TOPHER: Happy birthday!
GEMMA: You already said that.
TOPHER: I called you birthday girl, not the same thing.
GEMMA: Birthday girl is a little …
TOPHER: A little … something? Something you don’t like?
GEMMA: Birthday girl sounds …
TOPHER: Come on.
He indicates the decorations.
TOPHER: That’s an awful lotta pink for a grown woman.
Topher bats a balloon away from him. It swings back.
GEMMA: I’m not a girl. And for you to call me that is…. I’m feeling a little on edge here.
Topher snaps off his party hat, rubbing at the line the elastic made in his skin.
SID, 36, enters, looking at his smartphone. He takes in Topher and Gemma and steps a few paces away, lingering.
TOPHER: This was your deadline, this birthday.
GEMMA: Our deadline.
TOPHER: You mean my deadline. You know, most people don’t like ultimatums? I can’t imagine why.
Sid inches towards the table.
GEMMA: Someone told me recently that the instant you capitulate to the urge to issue the ultimatum, you’ve already lost the negotiation.
TOPHER: See, I thought we were two people contemplating a lifetime commitment. I didn’t realize we were merging corporations.
Beat.
I was keeping you in suspense.
GEMMA: You were.
TOPHER: Waiting for the right time.
GEMMA: Mm-hmm, I couldn’t wait anymore. Where is everyone?
She pulls out her cell phone, swipes a few times, and groans.
GEMMA: I drained the dregs of my battery navigating my way here.
TOPHER: Getting to the park requires navigation?
GEMMA: It’s a big park!
A jazz trio is setting up nearby.
Gemma watches her phone die.
GEMMA: Aaaaand now it’s dead. Can I borrow your phone?
TOPHER: I don’t have one anymore.
GEMMA: You’re kidding me.
TOPHER: I don’t need one.
GEMMA: You are kidding me!
TOPHER: Anyway, why should everyone have access to me 24/7?
GEMMA: Is this a meaningful stand to take?
TOPHER: It’s not a stand. How am I offending you?
GEMMA: Are you the president? Why do you need to be remote from other humans?
TOPHER: People have access to me all day! Access to information is my job.
GEMMA: How’s that Reference Desk treating you? Hectic as always?
TOPHER: It’s not my fault if more people don’t avail themselves in person of the research arm of the library.
GEMMA: Then who is clamoring for your ear at work? To whom are you so indispensable at the office as to necessitate a monk-like existence away from it?
Sid, who can’t have avoided hearing this conversation, chimes in.
SID: I have a phone …
Topher ignores Sid.
The musicians are tuning.
TOPHER: No one is.
GEMMA: It’s petulant!
TOPHER: I’m utterly dispensable.
GEMMA: Molly didn’t even invite you to my party, did she? How could she, by Western Union?
SID: Did you need a phone?
Topher shakes his head.
GEMMA: Swearing off your cell phone. That you’ll commit to.
She begins addressing Sid.
GEMMA: This man won’t even keep a book!
TOPHER: We’re librarians.
GEMMA: I bought him a book once. After the gift wrap came off – it had barely touched the floor – you want to know the first words out of his mouth?
SID: What?
GEMMA: Do you have the receipt? He’d never pay for a book, since borrowing’s free. He hadn’t even cracked the spine of the one I gave him!
TOPHER: That would have made it harder to return.
GEMMA: I couldn’t have returned it anyway! I’d written an inscription on the title page.
SID: Excuse me?
GEMMA: Yes.
SID: Is this your table? Are these things … yours?
TOPHER: It’s Gemma’s birthday.
SID: Yes! Many happy returns of the day.
GEMMA: Thanks.
SID: I’m just …There’s going to be a party here? There are guests coming.
GEMMA: We certainly hope so!
SID: Do you mind if I sit down?
Gemma makes a bewildered face at Topher.
GEMMA: Not at all … !
SID: My daughter is turning 6 –
GEMMA: Aww …
PAUL, 34, enters, carrying birthday candles.
GEMMA: Here’s a guest! Here’s my friend Paul! Hi, Paul!
PAUL: Am I early?
He kisses Gemma’s cheek and spies the pink bakery box.
PAUL: Oooooo, can’t wait for whatever that is.
TOPHER: Hey, Paul.
Topher’s voice startles Paul.
PAUL: Topher! Is that you? We never see you anymore in Circulation!
Paul cheekily opens the bakery box and moans.
PAUL: Cupcakes!
He addresses Topher jovially.
PAUL: Wait – you were set to transfer, right? Where did you end up?
GEMMA: He’s at the Aguilar.
PAUL: East Harlem! How’s the Reference Desk?
TOPHER: It’s a ghost town. I think I’m being phased out.
PAUL: Phased out? By whom?
GEMMA: Google.
PAUL: No! They used to say Kindle would shut all the libraries down. But look at us now! Folks are still borrowing!
GEMMA: In fact, some people only borrow.
SID: The NYPL is an institution.
TOPHER: Yes. Literally.
SID: My daughter loves the lions.
PAUL: Fortitude and Patience! Most of us work at the Mid-Manhattan branch. On 40th? Topher’s moved on to the Aguilar. A gem, one of the oldest, unfortunately in danger of closure …
Paul notices the noisemakers.
PAUL: Cute!
Paul opens the packet of candles and sticks one into a cupcake.
PAUL: All right, then. Cupcake for the birthday girl?
Topher sidles up to Gemma.
TOPHER: Happen to notice what Paul just called you?
GEMMA: Hey, what did you do with the book? Since I didn’t retain the receipt.
TOPHER: Goodwill.
PAUL: Gemma, you need cake!
Paul hands Gemma a cupcake, the candle unlit. She wanders a distance away with it.
Paul offers his hand to Sid.
PAUL: Beg your pardon! Paul.
SID: Sid.
They shake hands.
PAUL: Look at these hats! How do you know Gemma, Sid? I suspect you are not a librarian?
SID: No, I work for Amazon.
PAUL: Ha! Speaking of Kindle.
SID: Paul, this is a little awkward …
PAUL: Ignore them. Topher’s always been a bit, reductively, Aspy? He’s really very sweet. And for Gemma, this is what we might call a significant birthday.
He spots the musicians, who appear to have finished set-up.
PAUL: Do you s’pose we could get them to serenade her? It would be quick! Molly and the rest must have fallen in the lake. Would you be willing to go over there and ask?
SID: Well, sure.
Sid doesn’t move.
PAUL: Topher, Gemma’s candle needs lighting!
Paul trots to Topher and hands him a lighter.
Topher walks towards Gemma, who keeps moving away from him.
Paul trots back to Sid.
PAUL: Go ahead, Sid! I’ll hold down the fort here and be ready to sing.
SID: Paul?
Topher pursues Gemma.
TOPHER: Gemma?
Paul watches Topher and Gemma.
SID: Paul?
Gemma skirts away.
GEMMA: Not now, Topher!
SID: Paul?
Paul notices Sid.
PAUL: Yes?
Topher follows Gemma.
TOPHER: I’ve got Paul’s lighter!
Gemma picks up her pace.
GEMMA: Good for you!
Sid is out of time. He speaks in a nervous flood.
SID: Paul, I don’t know these people, and it’s my daughter’s birthday, and I bought those cupcakes, and we had dibs on this table, and this is our party, and –
TOPHER: Come on, Gemma!
GEMMA: Unh-unh!
SID: – there are ten little girls, ten including my daughter, and they’ll be running from the playground, running any minute now, expecting to eat cupcakes, and they won’t understand.
PAUL: But on the evite Molly said the party would be …
Topher flicks on the lighter, bearing it heroically like the Olympic torch.
TOPHER: Gemma, stand still!
SID: I don’t know where your party is! For all I know your friends could be on the other side of the park!
PAUL: It’s quite a large park.
SID: You gotta clear out! They’re coming!
Topher’s lighter falters and goes out.
Paul nods grimly.
PAUL: Could we just have one brief happy birthday?
SID: … I’ll talk to the band.
Sid strides to the band and confers.
Topher grabs Gemma by the hand.
TOPHER: Would you hang on a second!?
In the play area, ten little girls simultaneously become ravenous.
Paul anxiously watches Sid and the band.
PAUL: Topher, you’re running out of time here!
Topher reaches for his wallet.
TOPHER: I didn’t give all of it away. I wouldn’t do that. You know me!
GEMMA: I was patient. I waited three years!
TOPHER: You know me! I donated the book, but I –
GEMMA: I’m seeing someone else now!
The ground trembles. The little girls are running!
Topher pulls out a folded piece of paper with an inscription on it.
TOPHER: I kept the title page!
As Sid returns to the table, the trio begins a snazzy cover of “Happy Birthday to You.”
ALL: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday –
Topher lights the candle on Gemma’s cupcake.
SID: – Dear MACKENZIE …
ALL: Happy birthday to you!
Gemma makes a wish.
The girl horde careens to the picnic table, small bodies thrown forward magnificently.